Had to give in and let my kitty rest. Zen lived with us for 14.5 years old and was 1.5ish when we got her as a stray. She was persnickety her entire life, suffered allergies requiring meds, had developed dementia and hyperthyroid in her old age and we decided that it was time last Thursday.
One of the very hardest things I have ever had to do in my life, but it was peaceful and now I know she is finally able to chase squirrels and roll in the grass on the other side, and someday I will see her again.
I'll really miss her till then.